My pants are black thank you..

We met these two wonderful gent's at our first gig, which turned out to be their first too. And since then we have become the biggest of friends. Barry and Kat, known as Musical Chairs to the masses, are two rather talented young men, who love to bring the noise.
As part of the ChopDownTheWoods event, Musical Chairs are one of the heavy hitters planning to make you dance your faces off. ChopDownTheWoods plans to be one of the most interesting parties to happen in Jozi in the last couple of months.
Musical Chairs are also regulars at Spoek's DIRTY!DIRTY! parties and of course will be playing this friday. Luckily for you, you don't have to wait for the 11th of July or even 3rd of July to hear them cause here's a sneak peak at what the boi's can do. Feel free to tell your friends about them...

What colour are your pants? (zshare) (mediafire)


Drop the Lime - Howling
Sharkslayer - Skanking Riddim
The Count of Monte Cristal & Sinden - Beeper (Fake Blood Remix)

Bloc Party - Mercury (Herve is in Disarray Remix)
The Qemists - Dem Na Like Me (A1 Bassline Remix)

Dylan Holshausen - Gangster Filth (Dylan39's Remix)

Congorock - Runark
Shitdisco - 72 Virgins (Bloody Beetroots Remix)



The 11th of July see's the start of a new set of Infamous party's known as ChopDownTheWoods! These party's aim to put Jozi and the rest of Africa back onto the fun side of partying with there lovable mascot ChopperTheBear. Who has already stolen the hearts of many with antics on facebook.
The line-up for the event is impressive enough and rather daring, featuring only new name acts, that are individually trying to reshape the party scene into what it should be about...FUN... The line up includes those crazy kids from Team Uncool, capesuperstar Orlando Doom ( who we rage about all the time), ShuffleShame and those awesomely loud trouble makers Musical Chairs. Also joining the line up is Chinxxx the visual demon of the Jozi party scene adding some much needed femininity to the rooster.
Finally ChopperTheBear himself will be making a drunken appearance to tide over his horde of adoring fans.
Fatchineseboi will be dropping all kinds of goodies at the party as well as doing interviews with all of the acts preforming, also droping some of their mixes and tracks to get ya'll excited! Also we will be doing interviews at the event itself to get a response and feel for how the SA scene kids party it up!

MSTRKRFT ON David Letterman

I haven't been bloggin now for a lil while for 2 very good reasons... 1. Work has raped my bloggin time over a plenty... and 2. I've been collecting only the freshest musical/ banger treats for a super special loose change coming soon.

Then when the youtube video of MSTRKRFT and everybodies favourite wedding singer, John Legend, performing live on David Letterman dropped, that gave me reason enough to post something small... or actually really big, coz this time round there's no twittin rapper and the in studio sound mixing is amazing. Enjoy


Word of the Week


The Walking Dead. Scientific name Homo Coprophagus Somnambulus.

A deceased human being who has partially returned to life due to undeterminable causes. The brain retains base facilities, namely gross motor function. In its near-mindless state, it grasps no remains of emotion, personality, or sensation of pain. In rare cases, some of the reanimated have reflexively preformed routine activities from their past lives.

The rotting bodies of the undead operate on a fraction of the level at which our bodies normally function. Circulatory, respiratory, and digestive systems are unaffected by reanimation. Labored breathing, choking, and moaning are reflexive but no oxygen is carried through the blood. The nervous system functions primarily within the brain and brain stem. Sensory reception is minimal at best and seemingly unecessary in the pursuit of prey. The undead are incapable of fatigue and will persist at any cost. They will even crawl when their legs have been removed. Even if the head is removed from the body, it will continue to live. The only way to stop the reanimated is to destroy the brain. To prevent reanimation in the recently departed, decapitate the corpse and burn the body.

The only observable action a zombie takes part in is killing living creatures, especially humans, and eating them. Many theories and speculations surround this disturbing behavior. One theory is based on the thought that reanimation is the result of a contagious infection or virus, and that the primal drive to feed will spread the disease to other host bodies. Research has shown that although the majority of zombie attacks result in fatal wounds, all corpses return to life soon after passing, regardless of cause of death. Another theory is that zombies eat the brains of the living to refuel the "un-life" giving chemical serotonin. Because digestive and circulatory systems are incapable of bringing these elements to the brain, this just cannot be true. The final speculation seems the most obvious, that the dead feed for sustenance to satiate their unnatural metabolism. But because the gut has no function in the undead, this is also false. One documented encounter claims that a zombie was unable to move due to the sheer mass of undigested flesh resting in its distended gut. The creature continued to eat even after it's gut had burst open. Studies regarding the nature of feeding have proven that zombies will try to eat when their stomachs and even jaws have been removed. One explanation offers that the walking dead are the incarnation of death itself, a mockery of life that uses the vessels of the living to carry out their dark intentions, they are the opposite of life and are driven to simply undo it.
"When there's no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth."

Well What Do You Know?

We have said it time and time again, we sure do love local mixtapes and everytime we ask you aspiring and sortof well known DJ's to drop us a mix, but you never do. But luckily not everyone is a lazy ass. Our friend and rather well known Jozi alt celeb Data Takashi, gave us this little delight to celebrate his up and coming trip to Cape Town. This little mix is entitled Sick Note and obivioulsy refers to Takashi's lastest reason to dodge a bad party. have a listen is bound to make you excited about partyin in Jozi a bit more.

Data Takashi - Sick Note (zshare)


Little Boots - New In Town (Emil & Friends Remix)
Emil & Friends - Sleepyhead (Passion Pit cover)
El Perro Del Mar - Change Of Heart (What Kind of Breeze Do You Blow Remix)
Cut Copy - Far Away (The Golden Filter Remix)
Matias Aguayo - Walter Neff (Instrumental Mix)
ZZT - The Worm (Erol Alkan Extended Rework)
Tiga - Overtime
Hidden Cat - The Superfuture
Friendly Fires - Lovesick (Evil Nine Remix)
Hot Pink Delorean - Let’s Get Free (Instrumental)
Deadmau5 - Ghosts N Stuff (Dirty Disco Youth Remix)
Mustard Pimp - We Are Too Slow FuÌ√r Dich
Mix Hell - Highly Explicit (Huoratron Remix)
Zombie Nation - Mystery Meat Affair

I'm Just An Animal

Christian Bale makes us happy at Fatchineseboi. He is seven kinds of awesome, wrapped in a layer of cussing and anger! Plus in this pic he is covered in fake blood, you know what that means kids. Thats right new FAKEBLOOD yay! And as I mentioned last week it's the remix of the new indie anythm "Animal" by Miike Snow. So without futher bullshit

Miike Snow - Animal (Fake Blood Remix) (zshare) (mediafire)


BuRnnnnSSSSSS gets Jokers of the Scened

Burns is pretty sweet ass producer and he makes alright stuff like his track Turbo. But if you add some JOTS to his little track it suddenly becomes a little more interesting. Plus here's a edit of the Turbo music video recut to the JOTS Remix


Word of the Week!

So you need to extend your vocab with new disgusting terms of endearment will here you go... Fatchineseboi will deliver at least one new and exciting word a week. Here's the first.

1.Something you would do to a hooker 
Yea dude I gave her a snarky.

Ewww bitch I got your snarky all over me.



Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs, and my last post ever!!!

Shit, I've been so despondent about the scene lately, the music is stale, the crowds are 2 dimensional, and all the good artists are so bored they keep churning out dub-step. If I had all the bandwidth back after accidentally downloading dub-step, I'd be so flush I'd be able to download the entire backcatalogue of Elton John, which doesn't sound like to bad an option compared to other shit I've been sampling.
Along the way , the music stopped being fun to me when every extended break was used, and all the build-ups sounded like brrzzttt, zffffffftttt, eeeeeeee, krrrrrrring, bkkkkkkyyyy, chik, chok, .......... boom, womp, womp, womp. 

You can only do the trick so many times before it sounds tired, it is supposed to create anticipation, like misdirection in horror movies before a jump scare. But if every movie had a jump scare every 15 mins, no one would be scared of them. They would be predictable, it's the silence in those breaks that sucks the most it's an old pop trick, used in songs to force people to listen and think "is the song over?", before it folds back into it's formulaic "yeahs" and "woops" again more forced misdirection.

Dj's won't even say they play fidget when they do because of the sheer embarrassment of the scene, rather either saying they playing Jacking House or Electro, I doubt we'll ever see timeless music again, I guess it's the natural progression of all art-forms.

And then I saw this video, which sparked my interest again, the same way "Mars" did when i heard it on The Count and Sindens Radio 1 mixtape January '08, the same way "Underground (Busy P Remix)" did when I was fed-up with banging music after hearing Boy-8 bit's massively disappointing "Suspense is Killing Me" Ep. 

Now "Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs" are willing to not take them seriously at all, their name is the biggest joke of all as they know their days are numbered, without releasing anything yet, well an E.P. "All In One Sixty Dancehall"  soon to be available on Greco-Roman. But I've said enough, I won't play anything banging anymore, and electronic music is releasing it's last exhale any minute now, I won't blog anymore about dance music, and frankly I'm fucked off because I won't be missed, well not being missed by spirits, it's all bullshit and shallow anyway. 
Wow this blog post gone all fucking Cevron

Ok so maybe that was all a bit melodramatic, I guess if you've read this far you deserve the truth.....

(please note the ......, the old pop trick from before too build anticipation)

I just want to play video games all the time for the rest of my life, and not waste anytime searching for music, organizing music, and playing music. I just want to study frame data and perfect Sagat's Ultra move in Street Fighter 4. That is all, please mail all complaints to:

Capcom U.S.A., Inc.
Capcom Entertainment, Inc.
800 Concar Drive
Suite 300
San Mateo, CA 94402-2649

I kid, it's all peachy on the Fat Chinese Boi, for Belushi.

If I've learnt anything in my life, it's that nothing stays the same or sucks forever, if you hang in there shit will get better, movies, music, video games, comics, literature, drugs, jokes. 
Yes scenes get caught in ruts and stagnate, yes originality gets neglected, but it's these rough times that fuel the innovators, so don't give up on things too easily cause it really doesn't take alot of effort to change circumstance.

Oh yeah where was I... the innovative music, here it is.

Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs - Sickly Child (MediaFire)

Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs - Moon Hits the Mirrorball (MediaFire)


Who doesn't love VANSHE... You there in the back shut up. Here is a lovely little taster of the excited Ze Vemixes Album being released on the 12th of June. Ze Vemixes lives in the same vain as Soulwax's Night Versions, which makes me and many others rather excited! Stay posted for some of the glorious Bangers which will come off this album.

I'm Happy Thanks for Asking! Fucking Ann Coulter!

Music vid's we love....


The DIRTY Shuffle

Last week Friday, the second !DIRTY!DIRTY! party, saw the debut performance of Jordan and I as ShuffleShame... !DIRTY!DIRTY! are amazing parties and this one was no different.

We had so much fun we decided to record the set we played out for all of ya'll that asked (shot.) and for those of ya'll that couldn't be there...

ShuffleShame @ !DIRTY!DIRTY! 29th May 2009 (Zshare) (Mediafire)

Tracklist (lovefest)

ShuffleShame Intro
Felix Cartal - Skeleton (Bird Peterson Remix)
Unkle - Restless (Fake Blood Remix)
The Futureheads - I Wouldnt Be Like This (Andy George Remix)
Zombie Nation - Seas of Grease (ShuffleShame edit)
Ladyhawke - Paris is Burning (Alex Metric Remix - ShuffleShame refix)
MSTRKRFT - Fist Of God
Alex Metric - Pins (ShuffleShame edit)
The Jumpoff - Rackhunters (Mr Miyagi Remix - ShuffleShame edit)
Alex Metric - Shirley, you can't be serious
Sounds of Stereo - Heads Up! (Bloody Beetroots remix - ShuffleShame edit)
YYY's - Zero (MSTRKRFT Remix)
Ugod - Ugodzilla (Yuksek remix - ShuffleShame edit)
MSTRKRFT - It Ain't Love (Bird Peterson Remix - JFK edit)
His Majesty Andre - Peep Thong
Evil Nine - All the Cash (Alex Metric Remix)
The Kills - Cheap and Cheerful (Fake Blood Remix)
Mr. Oizo - Gay Dentists (JFK edit)
Felix Cartal - Salty Lake
Ghostface Killah - Charlie Brown (Yuksek Remix - ShuffleShame edit)
Redman - I hold the crown (His Majesty Andre Remix)
MSTRKRFT feat. E-40 - Click Click

We decided to dedicate this lil' mix to Nick and Mooki for their recent Bdays... Also shouts to my girl Al for all her support, my lil sis Caz, Jazz, Big Space and H.I.V.I.P


Grave Danger Tracks!!!...??..., ah £@&$.

I google image searched "Grave Danger" and all I got was this lousy book cover.
Here are two tracks from the Gnome sympathizers, brothers Skene.

I prefer "Move Just", cause I'm a sucker for sampling and those drum breaks kill me.
For some reason it reminds me of Oizo's Flat Beat.


Awesome Loose Change

So lets get this fucken boat sinking with some fresh bangers to start off your week... I have finally finished off a 3 month stint on set and ShuffleShame's first gig (which was rather fun, thanks Spoek and Big Space). So here we go! This tracks like Star Trek, were in some serious need of Donking, in which Star Trek's case, it was donked by the master Mr. JJ Abrams...So here's who donked the rest

So anyone remember Cassius? Yes that french electro act from around 1999? Ohhhh yeah? "Feeling for You" Anyone? Well some bored out of there brains British bastards called Les Rythmes have just dropped this wicked remix. I found myself questioning my taste for a little while... Then I listen to this Lo-Fi mash up and realised...No my taste is fine, this is a great track....So grab it while its hot...

It's those crazy cats Autokratz and sadly there track "Always More" needed a little something more. Saldy for this kind of track some backyard Donk was not nearly enough to help it along to greatness. so that flat chested mastermind His Majesty André had to fix this shit...and SNAP he did! Have a listen and if you don't like it, sue me later...when I give a fuck...

Ohhh Bag Raiders, remember the days when people didn't call you Gay Raiders...I don't! I will forever call you Gay Raiders out of respect for one of my favourite Blog's (You know who you are). Anyway Gay Raiders were also in need a bit of Donking to tweak their track "Turbo Love" into overdrive for coolness. Luckly my fav Asian of all time Mr. Shinichi Osawa stepped in and put some heart and soul into an otherwise bad reminder of what Gay Raiders use to be... Thanks Japanese Man...