Please Don't Kill Me!

Well I'm officially freaked the fuck out, while I was noshing some cereal this morning in my underoo's, a sleeve with the above artwork and a cd with the below track slid under the front door to my apartment.

They murmured through the door something in what sounded like a garbled text to speach 
"zxkzxxyxz...comprised of....zzzzzzzz....they have merged to create a nu nufangled circuit bent...ssssshissssss...xzvxz...Machette Jacobite... for now, this is all you need to know"

And after a few fear drenched minutes elapsed, I worked up the nerve to venture closer to the door and collect the parcel. 

I have no idea who decided to fill me with dread, besides it's name 'Machette Jacobite', but I know one thing this person/thing that made the delivery is most definitely a time traveling bounty hunter of some kind and that they have made the grave error of letting me know they want me dead.

I will prepare so fucking hard for our encounter. I will sharpen my blades, learn jeet kune do, practice my Shoryuken's and listen to Queen's who wants to live forever on repeat. 

So the war has begun and to quote a good friend and idol of mine Tyrone Biggums: 
"Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it."

There can be only one.

UPDATE: In retrospect maybe I'm getting a little carried away, I'm sorry, maybe it was a sugar rush from the boss cereal (Milo chocolate flake things, amazing!) that gave me the skittles, and maybe thats the last time I smoke rocks before breakfast?

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